My Rant On Driving

• I'm not tailgating you. I'm just in hurry. Get out of the way.


• No, I will not just "Leave earlier." My boss won't let me leave work at 4:00 PM just to beat traffic. I have better things to do than drive around at 25 MPH behind you. The best way I have found to maximize my time with work and family is to minmize time driving.


• Oh, you say you are doing society a favor by slowing down dangerous speeders like me? Well then I pray you never have to drive your three-year-old son to the emergency room with a 104°F fever.


• Old people: Younger people drive faster on the expressway. Your time is past. Accept it. If not, take the side roads. Or stay home and watch "Wheel of Fortune". I really don't care.


• Also the elderly: don't let your mouth hang open while driving. It's distracting and disgusting. I see this way too often.


• I've never had an accident attributed to speed. Stupidity, yes. Speed, no.


• To the younger crowd: Your car stereo is more expensive than mine. You win. Now turn it
  down. You may enjoy "Fiddy Cent", but the rest of us don't


• On a similar note, if you put a $1000 stereo in an $800 car, you are an idiot.


• It's okay to pass a cop on the freeway. Really. Even if you have to go sixty in fifty-five. They have better things to do than pulling you over.


• Turn signals. Use them. I doesn't matter if you are changing lanes or changing your mind. If I see yours, I will be so impressed, that I will actually let you in front of me. Really.


• Turn your lights on (not just the parking lights) if it is dusk, foggy, raining, snowing, etc. They are there so that others can see YOU, not the other way around.


• On a similar note, don't use your bright lights in foggy weather. It just makes it worse.


• If you are lost, pull over and ask someone. Don't drive around at 15 mph during rush hour. Get a map next time. They're cheap. Or Mapquest, it's free. Make an effort, people.


• If you miss your exit, oh well, you should have been paying attention. Go on to the next one and turn around. Please do not careen across three lanes of traffic to get off the freeway.


• Don't match my speed just off my left rear tire. That's called a blind spot. Pass me or get away from my car.


• Yes, I drive a little faster than normal sometimes. I also have 20/20 vision and quick reflexes. Do you?


• To women: Don't ever use the mirror in your sun visor while driving. This includes while you are stopped at light.


• To everyone else: HANG UP or PULL OVER! You are not paying attention! Alternatively, you can buy one of those little hands-free earbuds for $10 at Comp-USA or Best Buy. They work wonderfully.


• You don't have to pass on the right. I'll get over. Really. When the light turns green, it's okay to go. You don't have to wait for the person next to you to go first.