Common Sense Online Advice

An internet chat I would like to see:

StressMom has joined the discussion.
ProudNavyNuke: Hi, and welcome to Common Sense Online Advice! What can I help you with?
StressMom: Hi. My problem is my husband. He spends all his time on the computer.
ProudNavyNuke: All his time? Be careful using absolutes like "all", "never", etc. Be more descriptive. Are we talking several hours a day?
StressMom: Yes! That's all he does!
ProudNavyNuke: So is he neglecting the family? Do you have kids? Does he spend time with them?
StessMom: We have 2 kids. He's not neglecting us, I guess. He fixes dinner for the kids. He plays with them and takes them places. He puts them to bed.
ProudNavyNuke: So when is he on the computer? While all this is going on?
StressMom: No. He waits till the kids go to bed.
ProudNavyNuke: Okay, so we're talking a few hours a night then?
StressMom: I guess. The morning too. Before they get up.
ProudNavyNuke: Does he have a job?
StressMom: Yes.
ProudNavyNuke: Doing what? Has all this affected his performance at work?
StressMom: He works at a software company. No, he's pretty successful.
ProudNavyNuke: Does he keep grass mowed, house maintained, etc.?
StressMom: Yeah. He's good around the house. He just finished a playroom in the basement.
ProudNavyNuke: What does he actually do on the computer? Games? Porn?
StressMom: No, I don't know what it is.
ProudNavyNuke: Can you go ask him?
StressMom: Yeah. brb
StressMom: He said it was something called XL.
ProudNavyNuke: I think you mean Excel. Did it have a bunch of tables and numbers?
StressMom: I think.
ProudNavyNuke: Okay, so your complaint is that your husband who successfully works in computers and helps out around the house spends a couple hours of his free time doing additional work?
ProudNavyNuke: Hello?
StressMom has left the discussion.
UniGrad2008 has joined the discussion.
ProudNavyNuke: Hi, and welcome to Common Sense Online Advice! What can I help you with?
UniGrad2008: Hi! I just graduated and nobody will hire me! Help!
ProudNavyNuke: What is your degree in?
UniGrad2008: B.A. in Philosophy
ProudNavyNuke: Hmmm. You can always go into teaching.
UniGrad2008: No way! Teachers don't make any money!
ProudNavyNuke: So you chose a fluff major that provided you no skills or experience, and now you wonder why no one will hire you?
UniGrad2008:...
ProudNavyNuke: Never mind. Let's try something. I am going to give you some things to say at your next job interview.
UniGrad2008: okay...
ProudNavyNuke: "Would you like extra foam in your cappuccino?"
UniGrad2008 has left the discussion.